I was just reading a question on the swinging website asked by (presumably) a woman about what men get out of being done in the butt. It's a fair question because a guy giving up his backside might not make a lot of sense to some people. I responded by saying that, if nothing else, it answers an ages-old question for men: What does it feel like to be fucked? I went on to say that we (guys) ask women this question and the short answer is, "It feels good."
Well, there's the answer! There's really no other reason to do it other than it feels good, right? Well, not really; there's also a lot of emotional stuff going on about this as well. People mostly think of this as something gay men do - and they'd be right - but more guys are finding out that you don't have to be gay to like it and, more important, getting poked in the butt doesn't make you gay. A responder said that for some men, the pleasure is in being taken by another man and used for his pleasure - this is true. One of my site buddies, as expected, threw his five cents worth into the discussion and shared (as he always does) his position on it from a submissive's point of view and he's well-versed on the subject.
I added that there's the sheer, wicked delight in doing something you've been told never to do. Indeed, there's an element of fear involved for the first-timer - we've all heard of how much it can hurt - but, for some, that fear is actually a source of excitement. It's also something some men do to "prove" that they're men and I'd have to say that it does take some balls to let another man shove his cock into your butt, given that a lot of guys associate this act with the lack of masculinity and things that happen in prison that aren't very nice.
For men who know a little something about this, we gain an understanding of why women can only say that it feels good. We find that there are a lot of intangible things going through our minds while it's happening, things there are no real words for and the simplest way to answer a complex question is to say that it feels good. Yeah, depending on the size of the guy in you, it can be a lot of fun and quite pleasurable... and it could make you wonder what the hell you were thinking about by agreeing to do it.
When you get two horny guys together and sex happens, well, someone getting back-doored is almost a no-brainer, given that we've got this imperative to stick our cocks into something and, if it's not a mouth, well, it's not like there's another option for placement as there is with women, right? To that end, the psychology of it is kinda self-explanatory if not a bit complex on an individual basis.
How does it make you feel? Well, it's hard to put into words. I know my first experience with it was both very scary and, yet, somehow calming and almost peaceful. I can remember thinking, "Hey, this feels kinda good!" but if there were any deeper thoughts about taking place, I can't remember any of them or make sense of my initial thoughts. I do remember that when the guy shot his load, I did think, "Wow, that feels interesting!" You kinda get an instinctual understanding of what's going on, something that's primal in nature and it just clicks in your head that despite being told not to do it, there's actually not a whole lot wrong with it.
Of course, it all depends on how you're feeling at the moment, too. Being on the receiving end of it and you're really not feeling it for some reason isn't a good thing; it gets you into that "bad" position of starting something you can't finish and, really, it takes all of the fun out of it and can even cause you to rethink having sex like that. It doesn't take you long to figure out that if you're going to be the receiver, wanting to be that guy is a good thing.
I think it makes a difference in when you experience it, too. If you're an adult and going for it for the first time, well, there's a whole lot of stuff running around in your head that might make the experience less pleasurable than expected; those same thoughts can also make one change their mind at the last moment, too. Getting introduced when young, well, there's a lot less to think about, mostly along the lines of mom and/or dad telling us to not do it - there's not a lot of prejudicial thinking going on as could take place in the adult mind.
I know I came to see it as both being fun and just part of the deal when it's two guys, a give and take, as it were. Indeed, amongst the horny dudes I hung out with, if you did it to them, you were expected and required to have it done to you and without exception - that's just the way it was. Like I said, if you learned anything, you learned not to start or agree to something you can't or don't want to finish. Doing it to someone and then not returning the favor was very bad and you could find yourself excluded from any future fun and, depending on the group you hung out with, you might even get beat up or, worse, find yourself getting gang-banged.
At early ages, you can look at such things as boys being boys for the most part. I suppose it all becomes questionable once you get older and start to see the social and moral implications and how the angst about this can have a negative impact on your life. At some point, yeah, you do get around to questioning your sexuality, beginning with the words, "Am I gay?" If you're, say, 40, and thinking about going for it, you may ask yourself that question before the fact and because you want to try it. And, really, it's not about being gay or not; it's simply just another way to have sexual pleasure.
At some point - and depending on how your head is screwed on - you come to realize that it's not really a matter of one's sexuality, more so when you know there are "straight" guys who'll do it to another guy and swear to God that they are still straight - and they probably are. If nothing else, it's just convenient, that's all and if you wanna chalk it up to one of those "heat of the moment" things, okay, if that's what works for you.
Do you have to have your head on "the right way" to be on the receiving end? Yeah, if doing so isn't second nature to you. We all know about the stigma attached to this act and, yeah, some of it's pretty damned scary when you factor HIV/AIDS into the equation. Back in the day, all you had to worry about was (1) getting caught, (2) being labeled as being a faggot or, (3), wind up getting a dose of the clap or even syphilis. None of these things were good; the first two could get your ass whupped, the last gets you stuck in the ass with a needle and, oh, yeah, having to explain how you got it.
Yet, despite any of this, guys still do it to other guys in the butt, don't they? If sex amongst men is simply about pleasing and being pleased, well, getting humped is just par for the course. And, yeah, having a guy tell you how good you made him feel is rather pleasing in itself and, really, no different than sharing that sentiment with a woman. It is, like anything else sexual, a matter of personal preference; some guys would rather not be penetrated but find pleasure in just having the other guy poking around back there and feeling him cut loose between the cheeks. It can invoke all sorts of unexplainable feelings, both good and bad; it can answer questions or even cause more to be asked; but, really, the only reason to have a man's cock in your ass is because it just feels good to ya.
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